Too Close and too Far

I can officially say I'm over mind games and playing hard to get. I can say that with confidence with my head held high and mean it. Why should I toy with someone's head to make myself seem more desirable. If it is mean to work out, should i not facilitate is rather than push it away? I can say this and mean it, yet when it gets down to it I am guilty of doing just that. I am guilty of playing mind game, but what I am even more guilty of is letting myself fall for pointless crap. You want someone, they want you, should be simple right? No, Never. Why is that? Why are feelings never clear until the person is half way out the door? Why even then do we take what we have for granted? Why is one person always more attached than the other? It took me years, but I finally let go of someone who was weighing me down. I cut all ties and restored my self confidence and breezed through boyfriends never feeling hurt, and always feeling wanted. Until I met this boy a few months ago. Being my new usual self I never expected anything from it I saw it as a joke and someone else to get a little attention from ( to be honest). Basically the initial thing he let me know about himself was that a girl had hurt him and he did not want a relationship. That was fine with me I didn't want one either. Why would I all boys are the same right? As time went on he treated me like a boy would that he was trying to be with emotionally and I tried my hardest to laugh it off to pull away but I got to a point where I couldn't ignore it anymore. We clicked and even though he wasn't perfect and nothing really made sense I fell for him. He told me I was amazing and didn't want to lose me but he still did not want a girlfriend at all.  He had never met a girl like me but he wasn't ready to commit to me. What does a girl do? I never expected to feel this way and he did tell me his intentions so I can't be mad. The empowered female in me wants to walk away with my head held high and my dignity intact but obviously that didn't happen. So I pull away a little and he comes closer and then I get closer and he pulls away and I don't know if there will ever be a happy middle. I wish I could let go now and move on because the longer i let this uncertainty happen the more ridiculous i look along with becoming increasingly hurt. Being the dreamer that I am I can't seem to push forward because what if what I want is around the corner. Everything feels so close, but just a little out of reach. Hmmmm...